So today I pulled something out of the archives.
This one’s from way back — one of my first real pieces of writing. It’s the story of that time I got food poisoning at Disney.
Now, before I get into it, let me be clear — I love Disney. The people were amazing, and they even gave us tickets later because of the whole situation. This post isn’t to bash the happiest place on earth — it’s just to remind all of us that when we plan a trip, we tend to expect perfection. Then, when something goes sideways, we lose our minds.
But I’ve learned that losing your mind doesn’t make things better. I still got to take my family on an incredible trip — even if I couldn’t fully enjoy it myself. Did it stink being the dad stuck in the room? Yep. But the kids still had fun, and in the end, we walked away with a story that still makes us laugh to this day.
And yes — this gem was written on my Microsoft Envy 2… while sitting on a toilet. (Don’t judge.)
So, without further ado, here’s one of my earliest writings — proof that sometimes, laughter really is the best medicine.
Day 1: Disney Dreams and Test Track Trouble
We kicked off our awesome Disney trip on May 30th. When we pulled up to the hotel, the bellhops were on it — super helpful, quick, and friendly. We dropped off our luggage since check-in wasn’t until 3 p.m., parked the car, and jumped on the monorail to Epcot.
We hit our first snag pretty quick — our Magic Bands weren’t activated. Thankfully, a cast member (whose name started with NAJ) absolutely saved the day. She called the Contemporary, explained the situation, and got us all set up. She was friendly, patient, and professional — our first real face of Disney magic.
Next stop: Test Track. Except… it was closed.
No big deal. We shrugged it off and explored the park. The vibe was great, spirits were high, and by the end of the day, we checked into our hotel feeling good and ready for more magic.
Day 2: The Magic Kingdom and the Fried Chicken Sandwich of Doom
If you’ve been to the Magic Kingdom, you know it’s pure joy — the parades, the smells, the music, the cast members who seem genuinely happy to be there. It’s like stepping into a dream.
We stayed all day, soaking in the magic until late that night. By the time we got back to the hotel, we were starving. The Contempo Café was calling our names.
- Kids: pizzas.
- Wife: a sandwich.
- Me: the fried chicken sandwich.
Big mistake. Huge.
I went to bed full and happy… until I wasn’t. Around midnight, the stomach pain started. I thought it was just overindulging. Nope. By morning, I was violently sick.
Day 3: Animal Kingdom, Minus One Dad
My family headed to Animal Kingdom while I stayed behind, convinced I could sleep it off. After a few hours, I felt slightly human again and decided to rally. I hopped on the bus to meet them.
Bad idea.
Let’s just say, the fried chicken sandwich had other plans. Every step through that beautiful park felt like a gamble. My stomach was a ticking time bomb, and the nearest bathroom was my only comfort zone.
The Rest of the Trip: Survival Mode
The next few days were… rough. I’m a self-proclaimed foodie, so being surrounded by world-class meals I couldn’t eat was its own form of torture. While my family enjoyed churros, Dole Whips, and Mickey-shaped everything, I was surviving on crackers and Gatorade.
By the second-to-last day, I was dehydrated, exhausted, and couldn’t even make it to the parks. I waved goodbye as my family went off to enjoy Disney without me — the saddest scene since Up.
I sat in the hotel lobby, post-checkout, waiting for our next hotel and trying not to move too far from the restroom.
And yes — we still had an 18-hour drive home ahead of us. Just me, the highway, and what I now call “The Porcelain Roller Coaster of Crap.”
Looking Back
Was it the trip I planned for over a year?
Nope.
Did it make for a good story?
Absolutely.
In the end, my family still had fun, Disney still delivered magic, and I got a lesson in patience — and humility. Things don’t always go how we expect, but sometimes the best memories are the ones that come from the chaos.
Would I go back to Disney?
In a heartbeat. Just… probably not for the fried chicken sandwich.
Meta Description:
A hilarious real-life tale of how one dad’s dream Disney vacation turned into a stomach-churning misadventure — complete with fried chicken regrets and lessons in letting go.
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