It’s been a while since I’ve written, so consider this one a bit of a brain dump—one of those posts that strings together the moments that quietly (and sometimes loudly) shape our lives. The kind of events you don’t always recognize as important while you’re living them, but later realize they mattered more than you knew.
It all started on Wednesday, December 17th.
My wife and I got a message from Sarah’s boyfriend, Dylan, asking if we wanted to meet him for lunch. We looked at each other almost immediately and said the same thing without saying it out loud: Is this that meeting?
We met up, and Dylan felt… different. A little quieter. A little nervous. This kid has been in our lives for almost five years—he’s never been nervous around us. That pretty much confirmed what we were thinking. And sure enough, near the end of the meal, he asked us for our daughter’s hand in marriage.
I had absolutely no problem saying yes. Dylan is driven, determined, and loves our daughter deeply. The only catch? The proposal was still a month away. That is a long time to sit on news like that.
Not long after, we shifted gears into planning Christmas Eve at my mother-in-law’s. She loves making desserts, but the pressure of cooking a full meal stresses her out. So we decided I’d take care of the main meal—a pork butt and all the fixings—so the focus could be on being together, not worrying about what was coming out of the oven next.
Then came Thursday, December 18th.
I had taken the entire week of Christmas off and was looking forward to catching up on life—wrapping gifts, knocking out last-minute errands, slowing down a bit. Instead, I woke up feeling awful. This has become a yearly tradition I never asked for: bronchitis, asthma acting up, and a reminder from my doctor that being overweight doesn’t help matters.
I hit one of those smaller “almost hospitals,” only to find out the nurse practitioner had gone home sick. So off to the next one—taking back roads in pitch-black darkness that felt way longer than they should have. When I finally got seen, I ran the full medical gambit. Walking pneumonia. Possibly COVID, looking back. They gave me the heavy-dose burst of meds and sent me home.
I took the first dose around 8 that night, then—mistake number one—took another dose the next morning instead of waiting until evening. That absolutely wiped me out. I was useless most of the weekend.
Somewhere before Christmas Eve, my wife came down with whatever I had. She was miserable. I prepped all the food and took it over to my mother-in-law’s with the whole clan—except my wife. That had to be awful for her. Her Christmas Eve dinner of choice ended up being ramen. And honestly, ramen is pretty fire if you grew up poor and lived off it.
We limped through Christmas. There were a few “what the heck” moments trying to get everything done with zero energy, but we made it. My mother-in-law eventually headed to California and had a wonderful visit with her sister and nephew. Sarah and Dylan left for Arizona sometime that week.
Then there was New Year’s Eve.
I still don’t understand why we stay up. I think I was in bed by 12:02, in a food coma that woke me up shortly after with massive acid reflux. Public service announcement: don’t eat before bed, kids. It wakes you up in the worst way.
Back to work came quickly. I managed to knock out a few big projects, and then suddenly it was January 16th—proposal day.
We didn’t know many details. My wife asked when I thought it would happen. I’ve known these kids a long time, and my daughter has been chasing sunrises and sunsets for as long as I can remember. I looked up the sunset time—5:40 their time, 6:40 ours. That gave me enough time to sneak in a gym trip. I’m trying to lose weight and become the hunk my wife married… at least in my own mind.
I was home maybe ten minutes when the FaceTime call came in.
“Guess what? I got engaged!”
There was Sarah, holding up her hand, a disco ball sparkling on her finger. To say we were happy and excited would be a massive understatement.
And that brings me to the last event.
Yesterday was my wife’s birthday.
I realized I’ve been part of her birthdays for 30 years. Thirty years of life—good, hard, joyful, exhausting, beautiful life. I wouldn’t change a single thing, because all of it shaped us into who we are today.
I’m incredibly thankful for Melissa—for sharing this life with me, for walking through all of these seasons side by side. As we move forward, I’m hoping this year brings better health, better finances, and more meaningful time with the people who mean the world to me.
Because in the end, it’s these moments—the messy, imperfect, unforgettable ones—that shape us.
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